What if?

They say that having young kids brings a lot of stress in a marriage, that it brings your personal past and issues out; as you try to do better with the little beings that are now in existence from the love that you had together. What if this is not enough?  

They have been through a lot, and there is love, but what if that is not sufficient? What if she fails him? What if he fails her?

What if she stopped with the ever-raging   “mommy wars”: the constant passive aggressive whispers that come from the background melding together into excessive white noise. “We never did it that way, when we had kids?”, “”, and all the little remarks that they are all guilty of as if they are at all an expert, of how they had parented themselves with no mistakes and with no regrets. What if she just stood her ground and just stopped with the constant passive aggressive games. What is she held their gaze and did not waver?

What if she fails when she goes back to work? What if the time away causes her to lose her place and the chance for promotion.  What if she will never win at the office politic games. What if she never gets a chance because she is not their brand of cool?

What if it does not matter anymore, and she stood tall and for herself and on her own for her own. The need for perfection is in everything. No one can be the perfect worker, mother, wife or even friend but we pretend that we are, what if we just stopped, if we stopped acting. What if she stopped judging herself on the unrealistic and toxic standards that fill every role for her identity, what if she just stopped giving a fuck and instead embraced humility without the need for perfection; to allow herself to grow. What if?